• Kingsley Madugba has opened up about the red flags in a relationship and who lovers should prioritize between their wives, children, and mothers
• The relationship coach also shared insights from his nine years of experience on what can help sustain a marriage
• The self-discovery coach didn’t hold back when discussing reasons why some women have lost interest in getting married

Renowned self-discovery and relationship coach Kingsley Madugba, better known as Kingsley Speaks, has shared his thoughts on marriage and relationships.

The esteemed author, in an exclusive interview with Legit.ng, outlined key red flags singles should watch out for before entering a relationship. He also explained why many marriages today do not last as long as they did in the past.

With over nine years of experience, Madugba began coaching in 2016 and gained a strong social media following through his insightful content.

Kingsley Speaks on red flags in relationships.

Madugba emphasised that singles should be cautious of certain traits before committing to a relationship that could lead to marriage.

According to him, people should be wary of partners who cannot be trusted with money, noting that such individuals cannot be trusted with one’s life or heart.

He added that being unteachable is another major red flag. Such individuals are often rigid and unwilling to listen to others, including family members, partners, or mentors. He also stressed the importance of accountability, stating that anyone who cannot take responsibility for their actions cannot be trusted.

He explained that a person’s attitude toward money often reflects their character in other areas of life. He also noted that a lack of accountability and unwillingness to learn are strong indicators of deeper issues in a relationship.

In his words:

“Any relationship where a person cannot be trusted with money is a red flag and should be avoided. This lack of trust will reflect in other areas of life. If you cannot trust someone with your money, you cannot trust them with your life or your heart. Money comes after God, but it also reveals character.

Another major red flag is someone who is not teachable. Such individuals are often rigid and resistant to advice, whether from leaders, partners, or family members. They insist on doing things their own way.

A third red flag is a lack of accountability; someone who cannot take responsibility for their actions demonstrates that they cannot be trusted.”

Attraction outside marriage is possible – Kingsley Speaks

Speaking on comments made by Nollywood actor Daniel Etim Effiong about being attracted to people outside marriage, Madugba stated that such feelings are normal.

He explained that individuals may find others attractive or even more appealing than their partners, but discipline and boundaries are what sustain a marriage. Respecting one’s commitment remains key.

“It is possible to be attracted to someone outside of marriage. Being married does not mean you will never notice others who seem more attractive or accomplished than your partner. What matters most is discipline and respecting boundaries. Stay humble and remember that you are committed to your partner in all situations.”

Why women are not interested in marriage – Mudugba explains

Madugba attributed the declining interest in marriage to increased exposure to information.

The author explained that, unlike previous generations, people today are constantly exposed to opinions and experiences from social media and the internet. In the past, relationships were simpler, with fewer external influences shaping decisions.

He noted that modern relationships are now affected by excessive information, which often creates unrealistic expectations and misunderstandings between partners.

The relationship expert also pointed out that financial independence among women has changed relationship dynamics. While independence is positive, he said it can sometimes lead individuals to feel they do not need a partner.

Both genders are shying away from marriage – Mudugba said

Sharing his thoughts, Madugba added that both men and women are increasingly avoiding marriage. He explained that many people are influenced by negative stories online and personal experiences, which shape their perception of relationships.

He added that some men now prefer to have children without committing to marriage, while some women, due to past experiences, associate relationships with emotional pain.

In his words:

“It is not just women; this is happening to men as well. I have spoken with some men who say they would rather have children without settling down because they do not want that level of commitment. One reason is that people are shaped by the experiences of others, and personal experiences also influence how they view marriage.

Much of what we see on social media highlights the negative side of marriage. The way marriages are portrayed online, through posts and comments, has affected how people perceive the institution. Many of these posts are created to attract attention, not because they reflect the truth.

Additionally, many women are now financially independent. Once they reach that stage, some feel they do not need a partner because they can provide for themselves. Financial independence can sometimes become a limiting factor, but marriage is more than money; relationships involve much more than financial expectations. Wealth can also shape how people think, and at a certain level, some may feel they no longer need a man. This is often psychological, especially for those who have had bitter experiences. Some women associate men with pain because of experience.”

Why divorce rates are rising – Kingsley Speaks.

According to the relationship expert, the high rate of divorce today is largely due to information overload.

He compared modern times with the past, noting that earlier generations had limited access to information and fewer distractions. Today, social media and constant exposure to different viewpoints influence how people make decisions in relationships.

Madugba explained that excessive analysis and external influence can complicate simple relationship issues, leading to misunderstandings and conflict.

“During our parents’ time, they were not exposed to so much information. Today, we live in a generation where we are constantly exposed to information from social media and the internet. Back then, all it took was to see someone you liked and approach their family. They didn’t even consider things like genotype. It was easier to get married because there was little information competing with physical attraction.

“Nowadays, we are overwhelmed with information, and it affects how people make decisions, especially those influenced by social media. For example, a man is supposed to meet his partner by 9 pm but runs into issues and cannot make it on time. He tries to reach her but fails. When he eventually arrives, the lady reacts without knowing the effort he made. Our parents did not have phones; they communicated through letters. I remember during a programme, someone said that if you are too smart, you may never get married. There is a level of foolishness needed, not in a toxic way.”

Too much knowledge can be harmful – Mudugba.

When asked why knowledge can be harmful, Madugba stated that while knowledge is important, excessive exposure to information can sometimes be harmful if not properly managed.

He explained that the way experiences are shared matters, as negative narratives can shape unhealthy perceptions about relationships and the opposite gender.

He added that being overly analytical can make it difficult for some individuals to settle down, stressing that education and knowledge should not stand in the way of emotional fulfillment.

Men should prioritise their wives – Kingsley Speaks

Speaking on family priorities, Madugba noted that men should be wise when making decisions involving their wives and children.

He explained that in extreme situations, such as medical emergencies, a man may have to choose between his wife and child, and in such cases, the wife should come first, as she remains his life partner.

In his words:

“God forbid that men have to pick between their wives and their kids. However, it happens in medical situations where a man has to choose between his wife and child. He has to pick his wife first because the woman can give him another child.”

A lady married to a Nigerian learns Igbo soups.

Meanwhile, Legit.ng previously reported that a White lady who got married to a Nigerian man had learnt how to prepare Igbo soups.

The oyinbo lady (@onye_ocha_jesus) revealed that she could not cook when she married her Nigerian hubby. She showed the different soups she learnt and mastered in their marriage in the clip. Some TikTokers said they even got some cooking tips from her.

Some of the meals she is now very good at are pepper soup and jollof rice. Her page is filled with cooking videos.

Source: Legit.ng